Your Story Matters

What if you suddenly lost most of your long-term memories? That’s what happened to me after surviving a severe traumatic brain injury. What’s left of over fifty years of memories is now nothing more than seemingly random, unconnected bits and pieces. It’s as if the picture book of my memories has had most of its pages ripped out, and the majority of the ones that remain have been smudged and blurred so most of the actual details are missing.

But through it all, for some reason, I can still remember many of the stories I used to share – the stories about events in my life. From a personal perspective, stories are how we share events in our lives with those around us. For example, earlier this year we had a wonderful holiday in Hawaii, and we shared our adventures with others when we returned home by telling them stories about what we experienced. Even now, I find that some of the smaller details of that adventure are slipping away, but the stories I’ve shared from that experience are still bright and clear in my mind.

Looking back to older stories, I can honestly say that I remember virtually nothing about moving to St. Louis, Missouri when I was probably 5 or 6 years old. And I certainly can’t remember us driving there. But I do remember a story I often told about having to weather out a nearby tornado by parking under an overpass. And, while this doesn’t make it so I can remember that event, I can visualize driving along a highway with a tornado moving closer and being buffeted by the wind. I can visualize what it must have looked like to be under an overpass waiting for the tornado funnel to pass. It’s not really a memory, but it’s a piece of my past that I’ve preserved in a way that lets me share my experience with others, and in so doing, to reshare it with myself.

Stories are Powerful

Stories are what we humans had before we were able to record our history through writing. Tales were passed along from one generation to the next by word of mouth, through stories and songs. Consider the fact that the 725 fables credited to Aesop were preserved though story telling for several centuries after his passing before they were ever written down. And, while every storyteller may have put their own touches on each telling, the fact remains that the stories were remembered across many generations without anything being written down. From campfire stories of old to the bards and troubadours of the Middle Ages, and now, the movies of Hollywood, we are attracted to and engaged by stories.

Scientific studies show that we remember stories better than essays because stories tend to engage our emotions more than a simple collection of facts does ⁽¹⁾. When we are immersed in a story, activity is occurring in different parts of our brain as we listen. For example, when we are reading or listening where the action is about running or perhaps kicking, there is activity in the area of our brain that would be activated when we actually move our foot. Similarly, when visual elements are being described, there is a measurable increase in the activity in our brain’s visual processing areas ⁽²⁾. Essentially, the areas of the brain that would be active while experiencing the events are also activated by reading or hearing a story about those events. In many ways, hearing a good story is almost like “being there.”

On the flipside of this coin, by telling a story from our life, we are reliving our own memory; refreshing it and making it stronger. Part of this is that we experience the emotions we felt at the time of the events we are talking about, and then there is the responsive activation of our brains for each component of the story that we touch on. As I think back to our trip to Hawaii over this last summer, I truly remember best the things that I’ve shared through a story and those I’ve reminisced about with my wife. For example, the shark diving experiences were something I’ve shared with both family and coworkers, and these two events are now what I remember the most vividly from our vacation. I remember the bouncing of the boat, the wind and sea spray in my face, and the excitement on the way out to the dive locations. I remember the excitement and anticipation for the adventure we were going on. I remember donning my fins and mask, the temperate feel of the water as I climbed in, and I remember the excitement of seeing sharks, tuna, and even a barracuda swimming nearby. For the free diving experience, they kept their distance, staying at least 15 to 20 feet away. But in the cage diving experience, they felt much safer around us and swam so close that we’d have been able to touch them if we’d put our hands out from between the bars.

And, as I write this, I again remember so many of the details of that trip, the boats and our guides, the appearance of the island off in the distance as we cruised away from shore. I remember the reserved look of excitement Marcie had, being excited about the adventure but concerned about her sensitivity to the motion of the boat on the water. I remember so many more things than will fit into this post.

How to Use Stories to Enhance our Memories

We can use this natural ability to remember stories as an aid to helping us remember the things we want to hold on to forever. When there is something in your life that you want to remember, share the story with others. When it’s a shared experience, reminisce with those you shared it with. The more we talk about our experiences, the fresher the memories stay in our mind. I took a moment this morning to reminisce with Marcie about our ocean kayaking experience, and she mentioned a nest we saw with eggs in it on the island we paddled out to. I’d all but forgotten about that nest, but now I remember it again. I remember our sense of wonder as we considered where the mother bird might be at that moment and our hopes that the eggs would be safe until she returned.

For those life experiences we really want to hang on to, we can bolster our ability to hold on to the memories by sharing them as stories. Even if you just walk through the mental exercise of creating a story about an event, it might have a similar effect. And when it’s a shared experience, reminiscing may bring back details that would otherwise have slipped away.

Tell your stories and reminisce with others. It’s good for us in so many ways.

References

1. Raymond A. Mar, Jingyuan Li, Anh T. P. Nguyen, and Cindy P. Ta, (2021), Memory and Comprehension of Narrative Versus Expository Texts: A Meta-Analysis
2. Nicole K. Speer, Jeremy R. Reynolds, Khena M. Swallow, and Jeffrey M. Zacks, (2010), Reading Stories Activates Neural Representations of Visual and Motor Experiences