As I’ve mentioned in other posts, my ability to read was impacted greatly by the TBI. An avid reader for all of my life, I had accumulated a large collection of books. Many of my fiction books had been read multiple times and most of my reference books were dog-eared enough to look quite well-loved. It was traumatic for me on both a professional level and from a personal perspective to learn that I could no longer read well.
My job requires me to work with different technologies, all too often requiring a learn-as-you-go approach. Before my injury I’d start with a quick internet search and read or scan what appeared to be the most informative pages for the information I needed. Returning to work after my TBI, I quickly learned it didn’t work that way anymore. I found that I simply couldn’t read like I used to. It’s an unsettling feeling to get to the end of a sentence and realize you don’t know exactly what you just read.
I quickly developed a sense of apprehension… how would I continue to do my job without being able to read effectively? And if I couldn’t perform in this area, how long before I would find myself looking for a new job? And if I had to look for a new job, what could I do that required little or no reading? Would I need to find my next job using a shovel instead of a computer? This was a very difficult position to find myself in, and I struggled to not let it develop into a full blown panic attack.
I’ve always had an “I can do it” approach to what life tosses my way, and this is what drove me to find a new way to meet job requirements that couldn’t be met in the same ways as they were before my TBI. My first step was to clearly identify my weak points – most notably was my nearly non-existent working memory. The second item on this list was my inability to read effectively. Thinking about how I could compensate for this led to keeping a working document on my desktop. Having two monitors, allowed me to keep a document open on one screen while working on the other. I’d start by writing what problem I was trying to solve – there was nothing worse for me than to simply forget what I was doing all together. Next, I’d paste the most relevant internet search results into my working document so that I wouldn’t lose them or forget how I’d found them. My interaction with the actual documents or web pages was focused on the search tool, finding my topics without having to scan through the document myself. Probably the biggest change was that instead of just figuring it out on my own, I was now very quick to call tech support for whatever application was causing problems. Through the use of working documents and utilizing all available resources for problem solving, I was able to perform adequately enough to keep my job.
Then came the reading for enjoyment element. It was gone. Even with reading slow and re-reading sentences as I went, by the time I got to the bottom of a page I’d remember very little of what was on that page. I tried many times, but just couldn’t make it past a couple of pages without feeling frustrated and even angry that I couldn’t hang on to what I had just read. Once I got started in cognitive therapy, my therapist suggested audio books – this changed everything.
At the time of this writing, my audio book collection is approaching 300 titles. The ability to “read” a book without being able to read is a magical thing in my life. There are different providers out there, I chose Audible, and this app has made all the difference in my life. Besides just the ability to read, other benefits include listening to a book while driving, while washing dishes, while sitting in my back yard, and with the sleep timer I can even have a bedtime story.
If you also have difficulty with reading but have professional requirements to read, develop supplemental ways to make up the difference. Find the tools that work for you. If you take notes, make them descriptive enough that you know what they’re about when you next read them – I had this bite me a few times before I finally understood. White boards even come in 8.5”x11”, I recommend having one available in your workspace to make impromptu notes to ensure you don’t forget a conversation or perhaps an idea you have. If you like to read for pleasure but now struggle with reading, consider audio books. There are tools out there that we can use, but finding them is the first challenge.
Another brilliant blog Rod and full of useful tips! I can remember working with a speech and language therapist (SALT) 6 years post and reading, ‘John took his dog to the park.’ The SALT would ask me what the sentence was about and I would happily say ‘park.’ I’d be asked, what else does the sentence say, ‘it’s just about the park,’ I would reply! I could read the words as long as they were simple and only had about four letters in them My vocabulary had suffered a major hit! I still struggle now – especially with understanding anything I have written, but do find I enjoy the reading experience even if I don’t know everything about whatever I just read. If it is important I will re-read multiple times until I understand. I am 20-years post and as each year passes I notice improvements. Thanks Rod – another enjoyable read from you!