One significant change in who I am since my TBI is evidenced by the many things I either want or need to do that still sit in a partially-done state, as well as the many that never even got started in the first place. It makes me take a hard look at myself, wondering why… why don’t I get things done anymore? I have so many plans, so many ideas and inspirations, yet so few see the light of day since my brain injury.
My first thought is always the same, “Ok Rod, just how many things are you going to blame on this injury? Don’t you think maybe you’re milking this a bit?” Because the nagging feeling that I can’t dispel is that I’m just being lazy. I’ve read so much about how brain injury survivors struggle with starting tasks or finishing the things that we do manage to start. Why does it still just feel like a convenient excuse?
I guess this is just how our brains work, or maybe it’s just how mine works. Either way, I’m writing on this topic today because I have several jobs calling out to me every day to either complete or to at least finally get them started. At the top of my list today: I find myself at least three weeks behind on my plan to get a small greenhouse built in the back yard. I’ve got the tools and hardware; that only took two weeks. My next requirement is to go to the lumber yard and pick up the needed building materials. But… (pick one):
- “it’s too cold outside”
- “it’s raining today”
- “it might rain today”
- “I’m getting off of work kind of late”
- “it was a long day and I’m tired”
- “I slept poorly last night”
- “My brain is tired today…”
- “I’m hungry and I need to go make dinner”
And the list goes on… but all too often it ends with…
“I’ll do it tomorrow.”
And when I think too much about it, when I question why I behave this way, I quickly fall into a self-deprecating tailspin that takes me to a place where I’m angry and just don’t care anymore. I’ll do it tomorrow.
So, what can we do when this is the new norm? Here are the key recommendations I’ve come across…
Minimize Distractions
For me, almost everything falls into the “distraction” category. Since my TBI, staying focused on any single task is an almost insurmountable obstacle for me. This is most prevalent at work, where a steady stream of emails demand my immediate attention, and the bits and pieces of a variety of jobs are strewn across my desk. Even at home, I see a minor mess that needs cleaned up, but I should probably start laundry first, maybe I’ll make myself a cup of tea first, dang this sink is a mess, I need to vacuum this floor… maybe I’ll just sit down with a cup of tea for now. And that’s how it can go on some days.
What could I be doing right in these situations? At work, I’ve learned to disable the new email notifications that were popping up on my screen all the time, allowing me to read the next email when I was done with the task at hand. I’ve learned to clean my desk of distractions, keeping my desk clear of anything not relevant to the current task. And sometimes I forward my phone to voicemail so that I can stay focused.
At home, it takes more discipline. I have to purposefully decide on the one task I want to accomplish and ignore everything else until that one job is done. It helps to focus on how good it will feel to have a single job completed and to frequently remind myself that if I don’t stay at it then it won’t get done. The truth is, sometimes this works, and sometimes I still end up sitting in my favorite chair with a cup of my favorite tea and catching up on my Words With Friends games.
Follow a Routine
Another struggle of magnificent proportions for me. I’m the master of a change in plans. The truth of this is, my only routines that I truly have down are my meditation practice and staying on top of my sleep schedule. The sleep schedule control was a priority driven by some very harsh lessons learned through painful experience, and I learned quickly after starting my meditation practice that it made a significant difference in my ability to make it through a workday. But aside from these two areas, I have no real routine. Some days I go to work, some days I work from home and some days it’s a mix.
But from my perspective, these two areas represent a solid foundation for me to build on. While I don’t have every day figured out, I do know certain things that will be done each and every day – and I know approximately when they’ll happen. Start simple and build a routine that works for you but build slowly so that you establish the habits that are needed to follow a daily routine.
Use Organizers
This is one of my single most important tools for getting things done. What often feels like my single biggest obstacle towards getting things done is remembering to do them. At work, as I address in my post about Employment After a Brain Injury, I developed strategies and tools that helped me to remember to do the things required to keep my job. Organizers are a key piece of this puzzle.
I can’t say enough good things about Google Reminders. The ability to pick up my phone and say, “OK Google, remind me at 2pm tomorrow to…” has been instrumental in my ability to stay employed. We use Outlook for email and calendars at work, so this is another wonderful tool for keeping track of requirements.
Then comes my single favorite and most helpful tool… my 8 ½” x 11” white board. I use this all day long, every day. I use it to keep track of discussion points in my phone calls, the many times when people walk into my cubicle to talk about something I write down what I need to remember, when I think of something that needs done I write it on my white board until I can transfer it to my Outlook calendar. It’s quick and easy to use, it sits next to my keyboard so it’s always available and doesn’t even require a login.
Above all, remember that this is a journey of a lifetime. No two brain injuries are alike, and neither are the outcomes – but some of the struggles are common to many of us. Find the strategies and tools that work best for you, and reach out to your trusted medical professionals, support group, friends and family for help and support with your own challenges.
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