I am More than My Brain Injury

A severe traumatic brain injury changed everything for me, in effect, completely redefining who I am. As I’ve shared in previous posts, my wife still thinks of me as Rod 2.0 because I am so very different than I was before the injury. But through it all, I hold on tightly to the fact that I am more than my brain injury.

I’m a Fighter

I’m one of the lucky ones, I understand this deeply and am so very grateful. My recovery, while far from a hundred percent, has left me able to care for myself and provide for my family. My journey has been a struggle, and one that left me discouraged and even fearful on many occasions. But I’m a fighter. As many times as I’ve felt like giving up, I’ve found the strength to continue on my recovery path. I stand back up every time these new rules of life try to knock me down.

I’m a Student

Since starting down this path, I’ve learned just how much I don’t know about brains and brain injuries. I’ve learned to find solid informational resources. I’ve learned to read in small, more digestible chunks so that I can get the information I need. I’ve learned to be a student again so that I can equip myself with the knowledge on how to achieve my best recovery.

I’m a Writer

I started this blog without knowing if anyone would ever read it. But through the last few years, I’ve learned a lot about brain injuries, and I’ve been able to share that information with more people than I ever imagined possible. I read scientific studies to find the gems contained within that help me and others facing these same challenges. My writing has probably helped me the most, but the comments on my posts demonstrate that what I write has value for many others as well.

I’m a Business Professional

I’m a respected business professional. Yes, my coworkers know about my injury and that it impacts my memory. Some are aware of my difficulties with chaos and over‑stimulation. A few even know about my cognitive challenges. But through it all, I’ve held on to my position. I effectively manage multiple engineering software systems in a challenging environment.

I’m a Musician

Well, technically I’m still working at restoring my ability to play my guitar. I have several songs I can play again, and if you don’t listen too closely, the vocals are mostly passable. It feels good when I pick up my guitar and I’m able to play well, but it’s still frustrating to know how much I’ve lost from my brain injury. But the fact that I’m able to play some songs again lets me know that I’m recovering some of what I lost. I hope that in the near future I’ll be able to pick up my guitar and once again have people tap their feet and sing along as I play.

I’m an Artist

After my brain injury, I found a passion for painting. I’m no Bob Ross, but I’ve produced a few pieces I’m willing to let others see. You won’t see them on my wall, but I didn’t feel compelled to throw them away either. So far, I’ve mostly stayed in the world of watercolors, but I’ve done a couple using acrylics and I like the results. I’d like to have room to have an art studio where I could spend some time each week. Painting is a Zen experience, it’s peaceful and engaging.

I’m a Husband

Our marriage was after my injury, so for the most part, Marcie knew what she was signing up for. We’re in a work-from-home world, so we share the same space for most of each day. She certainly has moments where her frustration shows through, but she works hard to be patient and understanding of my challenges. Even with my cognitive and emotional difficulties, I believe that I fulfill my role pretty well. I’m able to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, and I’m able to be supportive and care for her when it’s needed. I think I do a pretty good job, and on most days, I think Marcie agrees.

I’m a Survivor

One of the definitions of the word “survivor” from Dictionary.com is, “a person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks.” I’m a survivor. I can’t go back and change what happened. I can’t find a magic pill that will fix my brain. So, what I have now is what I must work with. But I’m a survivor, so I’m going to keep pushing myself forward.

I am More than my Brain Injury

My options are simple, let my difficulties define me or work to improve my situation. I choose the latter. Yes, I have many days when I’d prefer to just stay in bed and listen to an audio book. Instead, I get up, I make coffee and I meditate. The number of days I just want to call in sick rather than go to work still surprise me, instead, I listen to something from my collection of inspirational talks, wake up my computer and start my workday. There are so many times when impacts from my brain injury make me just want to surrender, but I don’t.

My brain injury still affects me, but it doesn’t define me.

I’m more than my brain injury, and so are you.